Seemingly I have not found my path in life. I am stuck in the same place I have been for a very long time. Question is how do I get out of this circle. I ask myself what I need in my life to be happy. The answer that comes to mind is my family. I have them constantly in my heart, unfortunately they are physically separated from me. I have no answers to this dilemma. The only thing I can do at this time in my life is believe that we can all be together soon.  

How do I continue on in this next part of my life. It seems that everything is constantly changing and I don't know how to keep up. I sometimes feel out of control. I am having a hard time excepting the fact that I am the one who gets the short end of the stick because of someone else who did something wrong. It hurts. I have done everything that was asked of me and I put up with the stress and pain of people not appreciating me. Ok enough pity, time to pick myself up and move on. Believe in my heart that there is something better out there for me to look forward to. I have faith that I am always being taken care of and I will make it through this just like I always have.

Contenplating the next chapter in my life. It seems to me that there are so many changes that I never know which way I am going. I start something then all of a sudden it just takes a different turn that I never expected. I guess I have to just center myself and have the faith I will find my way. 

To My Girls: Amanda and Colleen

This is to my beautiful girls whom I love very much. You are both wonderful special ladies and I could never be more proud of you.

I think about you as my little girls and am amazed about how now you are both moms yourselves. I hope that you enjoy every minute and all of the special times it will bring into your life. Please know that there will be frustrations and times where you will wonder if you will ever make it, but believe me you will.

I hope that you can learn from your childhood what to do and not to do with your kids. Therefore you can be a better parent to your kids. I wish that I had been able to talk to my mom about being a mom, so I want you to know that I am here for you always to listen and talk to you when ever you want.

I know that it is hard, just know that I only did with you what I knew how to do. Yes there were many mistakes and I wish that I could take it all back and start over again. I want you both to be happy and enjoy your life with your families. Make your kids and a your husbands feel special very day. Know in your hearts that you have the best life full of joy and love.

I miss you both with all my heart and I think about you everyday.


Mom